How to Take over the Human’s Bed

A quick-tip blog post by Josiah, the wily Yorkie puppy

Hi, everyone. Thank you for reading my blog. This week is a little different. If you have a pet, please hand them the phone or read this to them. I’ve got a tip for them!

I’m a Yorkie puppy, but this tip works for other kinds of pets too. Except I don’t recommend this if you’re a fish. You need to stay in the water.

Dear pet friend: Do you want to know how to take over your human’s bed? I’ve discovered a way. Here it is in 3 easy steps:

Step 1:

Stretch out and look adorable.

*It’s important to stay as cute and casual as possible, so the human will get lost in your adorableness.*

Step 2:

In one smooth stretch, slide up to the center of the bed. The human will move to the side just to look at how cute you are.

*Try to slide all the way up to the blanket mountain. Maintain a cute pose.*

Step 3:

In one swift, confident move, roll over the blanket mountain and stick the landing in front of the pillows, right in the center.

You’ll only have one shot at that roll move, so make it count. Stay really focused on your goal, but keep a casual outward appearance, like you’re just yawning and stretching.

The human will never suspect this stealth move. They will be safely out of your way because they are so enamored with your cuteness.

*After you stick the landing, turn up the cuteness. The human has no choice but to give the bed to you.*

Success!

Congratulations. You have won! The bed is yours.

*After you capture the bed, feel free to stretch out, burrow, get comfy, build a blanket fort, and enjoy your new freedom.*

Turn up the cuteness, and the human will move to the very edge to give you all the comfort you need. Don’t be surprised if the human rolls to the floor because they can’t get over how adorable you are.

Happy napping!

Josiah

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