Here’s a new question for Clutch, the Yorkie: Clutch, have you ever stolen food? What happened?
I love how the second question implies that the answer to the first question is yes.
Of course, it’s yes. I have stolen food. Several times, actually. Including a few times Miss Janet doesn’t know about. But there was one time in particular that I really got myself into trouble.
This was back when I was living at my puppyhood farm. My family was out of town, and Miss Janet was pet sitting.
Miss Janet was in the kitchen fixing her dinner. I had already eaten my dinner. Our agreement is she has to feed me first. But that doesn’t mean I’m not interested in what she is cooking.
She was slicing raw potatoes. Whenever I hear the sound of food being sliced, I assume it’s for me. Food has to be cut into little pieces for me to eat because I have a small digestive tract.
I was in the living room, supposedly resting after my meal. (Humans are so gullible.) But I kept alert to what was going on in the kitchen.
Miss Janet had the potato chunks on the cutting board and was ready to scrape them into a pot to boil. Bad idea. When you scrape potato chunks off a cutting board, what are the chances one will fall on the floor? In my world, huge.
Miss Janet still remembers the next moment as happening very fast. I was nowhere near the kitchen. A potato chunk fell on the floor. Instantly, I was on it like a champion football player, and that potato wedge was in my mouth.
She will tell you it happened like lightning. She’s right. I am that fast. And that determined.
She had no idea I’d been watching from the living room. I had my food laser beam locked onto the target the whole time. I was staring it down intently, as I do with all potential food items.
The second it started to fall, I was airborne, straight at it.
My vacuum cleaner mouth closed around the potato chunk.
All before Miss Janet could react.
She knew raw potatoes were on the don’t list for dogs. (One might ask why she wasn’t more careful scraping them into the pot.) She was mortified when she realized I had already snagged that potato piece.
She grabbed me and tried to get it out of my mouth. But it was wedged in there. I couldn’t have gotten that thing out of my mouth if I’d wanted to. And I didn’t want to. I clamped down harder.
Miss Janet kept prodding and poking my face every which way, moving my jaw, trying to get that thing unwedged without making me choke. That potato wasn’t going anywhere.
I just stared at her with the round part of the potato wedge sticking out of my mouth, teeth clamped, jaw stuck. It would have been a picture-perfect moment were she not terrified.
It was very hard for her to wrangle me and the potato at the same time. She didn’t want to put me back on the floor for fear I’d run off, hide, and choke or actually eat the thing.
Between you and me, I don’t think any eating would have occurred. That thing wasn’t moving, no matter what I might have tried. But she didn’t trust me. Imagine that! So she kept a hold of me.
Crying, cursing, panicking, all those behaviors Miss Janet has perfected since I came into her life, she had a moment of clarity and called our neighbor. Thankfully, the neighbor was home. Miss Janet begged her to come help.
A few minutes later, Miss Janet had her iron grip on me while the neighbor risked life and limb to shove her fingers around my teeth, trying to loosen the potato. It took a few tries, but finally the potato wedge was loose. Into the garbage it went. I licked as much flavor as I could from my teeth.
Miss Janet hugged me, kissed me, thanked the neighbor profusely, and then promptly put me in time out. I was in there quite a while. At the very least till she finished eating her dinner.
Since that day, she has never brought home a raw potato or cooked potatoes around me. She may bring fries home once in a while, but she leaves them on the high counter and constantly says, “No!” as I mill around. (So annoying.)
Miss Janet has told me that although she was terrified at the time of the potato mishap, in hindsight she was incredibly impressed by my athletic prowess. But she has asked me kindly not to ever do anything like it again.
Has that episode stopped me from trying to steal food? Of course not. I will try to steal food every chance I get. I am focused. Quick. Sneaky. Determined. Best to be very cautious when you have food in the house that’s bad for me.
By the way, here’s an article from the American Kennel Club about a toxic compound in raw potatoes that can be a problem for dogs.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical expert. I am a Yorkshire terrier. Please consult your vet for their professional advice on what your dog should or shouldn’t eat.
Happy Eating!
Clutch
The Inquisitive Yorkie 