Battle of the Sticks

A blog post by Clutch, the amazing Yorkie

Clutch, here, with a note to all my canine readers. Try to read this really quickly. Then delete it before your human can read it. I’m about to tell you one of my best strategies for getting a treat.

When we go for our evening walk, I wait till we’re almost home. Then I grab a stick and head straight for the door.

I love chewing on sticks. It calms me down and keeps me entertained. But Miss Janet doesn’t like me to chew on sticks. She’s concerned I will swallow a strip of wood and upset my small and delicate digestive system. She’s very careful about what goes in my gut. Clearly, I am not careful. I just want a stick.

At first, Miss Janet would tell me to drop the stick. What’s that word? Drop? I have no idea of what you speak. I’ll just stand here at the door holding the stick till you get tired of saying “Drop” and just let me in.

Then she’d try to pry the stick from my mouth. Occasionally, she would distract me enough that I’d lose my grip, and she could toss the stick away. More often, I’d just readjust it with a tighter hold.

Eventually, Miss Janet started to worry I might break a tooth or hurt my mouth trying to fight for the stick. So, she’d let me bring the stick inside and try to distract me again or wait till I got bored and then throw it away.

She also saw how proud I was carrying the stick to the door and up the stairs, and she hated to deprive me of that great feeling.

That’s when Miss Janet got the idea to offer me a trade: the stick for a treat. She acknowledged I won the battle of the sticks. Peace would take place on my terms.

Ever since that momentous day, here’s how it goes. Right before re-entry, I grab the biggest stick I can find and head for the door. I run up the stairs and lie down on the living room floor with the stick between both paws. I start chewing.

Miss Janet says, “Trade?”

Of course I want to trade. I’d rather have a yummy treat than eat tasteless wood.

I watch her carefully. She grabs two treats, one to throw in the opposite direction. As I run to get that treat, she runs to grab the stick and throw it away. Then she gives me the second treat as a consolation prize.

It’s hilarious to watch her run for the stick. By the time she gets there, I’ve already finished the first treat. I make her think I’m going to beat her to the stick. Really, I just enjoy watching her scramble, and what I really want is my second treat.

This stick trade has become so routine now that I often don’t even chew on the stick. I sit down with it and just look up at Miss Janet, expecting my trade.

Sometimes she grumbles, “You know I’m enabling your behavior.”

Well, not exactly. More like I’m manipulating your behavior.

I love the trade game. It’s become my evening entertainment and a guaranteed way to get treats.

Once in a while, when Miss Janet’s not in the mood for the trade game, she will work very hard to skirt me past any stick, or she’ll even carry me to the door.

When I get inside, I just give her my most pitiful look, and she gives me a treat out of guilt that she deprived me of the trade game. Works every time.

Do you have a favorite way to coax your human out of a treat? Let me know!

Happy Treats!

Clutch